Time To Refocus

I seem to have gotten off track of what I was trying to achieve lately.  I got myself into a bit of trouble that will pass, but it is going to cost me money I don't have.  I am now refocusing on exactly what I need to do to finish school and get a better job.
Things at work are starting to get a bit busier and I am focusing on making sure I am doing well in my classes.  I registered for spring term and realized that I should be done by next winter at the latest.  It was a bit surreal to realize I was that close to achieving a goal I set for myself years ago and could just never seem to get any closer to.  I am really excited about it though.
I am realizing that I need to stay focused on what makes me happy and stop trying to make everyone else happy around me.  If I am happy with myself then everything else will eventually fall into place.  I think I needed for this to happen for me to realize that I was getting off track and refocus me to what is important and what I need to do.  I am excited to see what this next year has in store for me and how things are going to play out.  I am tired of sabotaging myself and my happiness because I start to believe that I don't deserve it.  I DO DESERVE IT.  It is really hard to accept so many things I have waited so long for actually coming into my life.  When most of my life and experience has shown me that everything is all bad or all good and there is generally no in between.  I am able to focus on the good instead of the bad now and see that things are never all one way or the other, there is always good with the bad and bad with the good.  I just pray that I can keep  focused and keep going in the direction I'm going, because I think I am finally going in the right direction and moving forward with my life and not stuck in the past.

Stress, Stress & More Stress

Well lately I feel like I can't do anything right for anyone.  I have disappointed my kids, myself, Ron, my parents and probably my friends or at least most of them.  Sometimes I hate the fact that no matter what I do I can never seem to get ahead, I always make just enough progress that anytime something gets in the way I feel like I've taken 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.  I'm always trying to keep my head above water but lately I feel like I'm sinking fast.  I Love Ron with all my heart, but sometimes I feel like maybe he doesn't take me very seriously.  As I write this I am beyond tired, I have slept in almost 48 hours so I'm pretty emotional and kind of rummy.